Nightwatch
29 October 2012 16:49![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Title: Nightwatch
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Category: Romance
Rating: PG-13
Beta: The adorable
verityburns
Word count: 273
Translation into Chinese available here (thank you, Lowtension!), into Czech available here (thank you, miamam!) and into Russian available here and here (thank you, Little_Unicorn!).
Summary: 221B Baker Street, a bedroom, at night. Before the Fall.
The room is quiet. I hear only John's breath. I see his chest rise and fall steadily. It’s so soothing. I watch his sleepy face in the shadowy light, endlessly, and though I know it by heart it's not boring at all. If I close my eyes I still see it.
I observe the way his eyelids and his lips sometimes quiver. Maybe he's dreaming. Happy dreams, I hope. He has no nightmares when I'm with him. Two nights ago his eyes suddenly opened, he stared at me and I stopped breathing. After a few seconds he gave me a slight smile and closed his eyes again. He hadn't really woken up.
He shifts a little in the bed and his hand settles next to my face. I fix my gaze on it, as if mesmerised. I come near, until my mouth brushes against it. I close my eyes. I can feel the warmth of his skin on my lips. Something breaks inside me. Oh God, this is enough.
I stand up slowly and, as I do every night, I smooth the blanket out to efface any trace. He wouldn't notice anyway. A last look and I leave John's room as silently as I came in, about an hour ago. I go back to my room.
I wonder what he would say if he knew. I wonder if, one day, he'll wake up and find me there, next to his bed, in my dressing gown, my legs tucked to the side, my head resting on my arms folded on the cover, watching, watching over him. I'm afraid he will.
I hope he will.
Author's note: Are you in the mood for angsting? With my customary quick-wittedness I realised after writing it that if you skip in my dressing gown and I go back to my room, lo and behold, it's now a very sad post-Reichenbach story. Sherlock comes back to 221B every night to spend some moments next to John who's sleeping. When John woke up two days ago he felt perfectly happy for a few seconds, because he remembered seeing Sherlock, then he remembered Sherlock was dead and... Right. I definitely recommend the pre-Reichenbach version.
It's my first fic and I wrote it for
verityburns' birthday, some months ago. Many, many thanks to her and to the lovely
arianedevere; without their kindness and their encouragement and their kicks in the pants I'd probably never have written, let alone posted, anything. I owe you!
There is a prequel now, The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of, and a sequel, Awakening.
There is also a podfic, by the wonderful
verityburns.
Pairing: Sherlock/John
Category: Romance
Rating: PG-13
Beta: The adorable
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
Word count: 273
Translation into Chinese available here (thank you, Lowtension!), into Czech available here (thank you, miamam!) and into Russian available here and here (thank you, Little_Unicorn!).
Summary: 221B Baker Street, a bedroom, at night. Before the Fall.
The room is quiet. I hear only John's breath. I see his chest rise and fall steadily. It’s so soothing. I watch his sleepy face in the shadowy light, endlessly, and though I know it by heart it's not boring at all. If I close my eyes I still see it.
I observe the way his eyelids and his lips sometimes quiver. Maybe he's dreaming. Happy dreams, I hope. He has no nightmares when I'm with him. Two nights ago his eyes suddenly opened, he stared at me and I stopped breathing. After a few seconds he gave me a slight smile and closed his eyes again. He hadn't really woken up.
He shifts a little in the bed and his hand settles next to my face. I fix my gaze on it, as if mesmerised. I come near, until my mouth brushes against it. I close my eyes. I can feel the warmth of his skin on my lips. Something breaks inside me. Oh God, this is enough.
I stand up slowly and, as I do every night, I smooth the blanket out to efface any trace. He wouldn't notice anyway. A last look and I leave John's room as silently as I came in, about an hour ago. I go back to my room.
I wonder what he would say if he knew. I wonder if, one day, he'll wake up and find me there, next to his bed, in my dressing gown, my legs tucked to the side, my head resting on my arms folded on the cover, watching, watching over him. I'm afraid he will.
I hope he will.
Author's note: Are you in the mood for angsting? With my customary quick-wittedness I realised after writing it that if you skip in my dressing gown and I go back to my room, lo and behold, it's now a very sad post-Reichenbach story. Sherlock comes back to 221B every night to spend some moments next to John who's sleeping. When John woke up two days ago he felt perfectly happy for a few seconds, because he remembered seeing Sherlock, then he remembered Sherlock was dead and... Right. I definitely recommend the pre-Reichenbach version.
It's my first fic and I wrote it for
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
There is a prequel now, The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of, and a sequel, Awakening.
There is also a podfic, by the wonderful
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 17:05 (UTC)You did it you did it you did it!!! *dances around the office* Welcome, welcome, welcome to the hallowed halls of Sherlock authordom. And we’ve been waiting so long for you!!
Of course, I’ve known of this story for almost a year and have spent all that time encouraging you to publish it, and I’m going to reproduce a large proportion of the email I sent you back in January when you first let me see this amazing piece of work:
I am utterly, utterly blown away by it. I really am tempted to keep breaking off to go and do the Happy Dance every time I re-read it - and I've re-read it a lot since Verity sent it to me this morning. When you PMd me and said you had sent her something, I threw my arms up in the office, spun around in my chair and said, "Yesssss!" really loudly, and then had to explain to my colleague what I was so excited about, but I was terrified that Verity would email me later and say, "Oh dear; we never should have kept urging her to do this - it's really bad!" And Verity - the clever girl - made absolutely no comment when she forwarded it to me, leaving me to make my own decision about it.
Choco, I will never lie to you and simply be polite. I was dreading having to come up with some carefully worded comments along the lines of, "Oh. Wow. Best wishes, Ari," or "Gosh, you wrote some ... um ... words. They're in the right order and everything," or "Um, well done on writing something that had Sherlock and John in it. So, anyway ... what's the weather like out there?" But that would be no help to you at all. So I'm going to be utterly honest.
Your story is astonishingly good. It's far more than I expected from someone who kept insisting that she can't write. I actually gasped when I got to the bit that revealed that John doesn't know what Sherlock is doing - if that's not an Ariane DeVere twist, I don't know what is, and I don't mean that you're ripping off my style. It was such a beautiful and emotional moment.
And the last two sentences. I'm actually crying as I type this - I mean genuinely, I have tears in my eyes and I can't read those sentences without my eyes welling up each time. They're so gorgeous and sweet and full of love and dammit I can't see what I'm typing.
*stops to blink her eyes clear*
*breaks off to do the Happy Dance again*
In all and utter honesty, sweetie, I can't congratulate you enough - well, not without meeting you and hugging the stuffing out of you. This is a stunning first attempt, and I love you to bits for having had the courage to write it and send it to Verity, and then to allow her to let me and Anarion see it. It's absolutely worthy of the Sherlock fandom and you should be really proud of yourself.
So that’s what I wrote in January, and my opinion hasn’t changed at all since then. Every now and then I go back and read it, and the last bit still makes me cry every single time.
I know you’ve been really nervous about posting this, and am so delighted that you have finally done it, because seriously, Choco, this story is utterly awesome. I love it to pieces –and I love you to pieces for writing such a beautiful, touching and tear-inducing story in your first attempt. Keep writing, honey, because you have a natural talent and I am truly excited about your future as a writer of Sherlock fic.
Love and many many hugs
Ari xx
(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 17:41 (UTC)I'm so, SO thrilled to see an entry in your lovely journal after all the
kickingencouragement that we've beenrelentlesslydevotedly lavishing upon your lovely self for all these months. Admittedly, the process did become easier once we discovered LiveJournal's 'nudge' option, but still... we're talking hours ofplottingdevotion here :DThis is beautiful, just really, really beautiful. So much atmosphere that the words can't contain it all - it's spilling out over your readers.
Immediately from 'The room is quiet', I am holding my breath, sucked in completely... and no one had best disturb me while I'm reading this - although, I'm not sure I'd notice even if they tried.
I adore 'He has no nightmares when I'm with him.' I love the simple fact of it - and I love Sherlock's tangible pride in the statement.
As Ari says, the last two sentences are exceptionally... I'm not sure of the word... 'tingle-inducing'? Something like that. I really like the way you've split the last one into its own paragraph. It deserves its own paragraph.
Very well done to you, my dear - both for writing something this gorgeous and for having the courage to share it. I feel like I'm having my birthday again!
(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 18:09 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 18:41 (UTC)I actually gasped when I got to the bit that revealed that John doesn't know what Sherlock is doing - if that's not an Ariane DeVere twist, I don't know what is
I'd like to say, "Yes, it's because I'm so clever", but actually I had this idea (revealing that John doesn't know what's going on just at the end) at the very last moment, then I realised that everything I had wrote could lead the reader to believe that Sherlock was in the bed with John, and his lover already, and I thought: "Wow, this is a twist a la Ariane DeVere !" And Verity said, "Aha! You're doing an Ari!" It's now a registered trademark. :D
Thank you again for everything!
(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 19:10 (UTC)Yeah, my lovely self has been
ruthlessly harassedgently cheered on for months and it's only toput a stop to this tormentplease you that I post at last. And I hope you're pleased, because I'm tremendously pleased, and smiling like a happy idiot, when I read your comment.I adore 'He has no nightmares when I'm with him.' I love the simple fact of it - and I love Sherlock's tangible pride in the statement.
Ah, thank you! I'm glad you felt that.
I'm so, so happy you love what I wrote, first because I wrote it for you, then because, as you know it, I value your opinion so much. I think I'm going to add a subheading, in capitals and a lot of exclamation marks: "VERITY SAID IT'S TINGLE-INDUCING!!!". Good advert, in my opinion. :D
Thank you again for all your kindness and your support, and also your patient beta work. Now I can say like the others, "VERITY MADE ME!" :D
(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 19:15 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 19:24 (UTC)I don't think I'll ever stop enthusing about this, Choco. And neither will I regret constantly harrassing you to get this published. It so deserves to be seen.
So when are you posting to the comms? When when when when when?
*Limbers up her right leg for more kicking in the pants if necessary*
(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 19:27 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 19:29 (UTC)Although you could put it up on our_bbcsherlock as well?
(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 20:30 (UTC)My eyes are a bit wet and I don't know if it's from the angst and Sherlock's yearning heart or from the deep and strong feelings you transported direct into my cells. You captured the tender longing perfectly, really really well done!
(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 20:55 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 20:57 (UTC)This is music to my ears, thank you very much!
(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 21:32 (UTC)And it is a beautiful, sad and tender fic. You broke my heart in a very good way.
(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 21:57 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 29 October 2012 22:17 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 30 October 2012 00:52 (UTC)Actually I thought that posting on sherlockbbc was enough. Do you think there are many people who read our_sherlockbbc and not sherlockbbc? I don't want to, er, what's the word, the thing you do when you post to too many places and people are fed up with you. Hey, I'm not a native speaker, okay? What do you think?
Sorry about these many edits, these lines in capitals bug me. They don't appear in the prewiew. If they're still here this time, I give up. But I'm not yelling at you, right? :D By the way, thank you very much for your Tumblr reblog, you're lovely!
(no subject)
Date: 30 October 2012 03:10 (UTC)This story gives me that lovely pain because in so few words you've told me nearly everything I need to know to care deeply, to feel Sherlock's longing, to, as Verity said, to make me hold my breath.
What's funny is just as I began to read my husband asked if the music he was about to put on would bother me, and usually the answer is yes, but the moment I began the first sentence I was deaf to everything else.
Chocola, you have a gift. Read your own story again. And again. Do you feel the mood you've made? Do you see how elegant the imagery? This is just the beginning I hope, the start of a long, long writing career.
I read your LJ bio just before this, where you basically wax rhapsodic that the reason you are here is because of Sherlock. I hope you continue to honor that and gift us with so much more fiction because if this is what you write when still full of doubt, good god what will you accomplish when you feel strong and bold and proud?
I can't wait to see.
(no subject)
Date: 30 October 2012 09:11 (UTC)Ooh, I quite like those small caps! (And it's called spamming - but two boards isn't spamming.)
Still excited to see this story finally online!! *hugs self in lieu of hugging you*
(no subject)
Date: 30 October 2012 15:12 (UTC)Nightwatch
Date: 30 October 2012 15:45 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 30 October 2012 15:53 (UTC)Some days ago I was re-reading passages of Given in Evidence (because you can't read good literature too much :D) and having a look at the comments, and in chapter 16 I came across a comment from you, saying to Verity about me, "Why does this woman not write all day every day. We would be laughing our lovely little guts out." And I thought, "Oh my God she will be sooo disappointed if she reads Nightwatch!" Because it's not really a "laughing-our-lovely-little-guts"-inducing fic. But it could be worse, you know. I could write hilarious fics and angsty comments. :D But you're not disappointed and I'm delighted. Also, I demand that from now on you send comments in which you call me Magnificent Chocolamousse to ME and not to Verity! :D
Thank you again for your kindness and your encouragement. I wrote two other fics actually, and I'll post them very soon. By the way, thank you for your advice about our_bbcsherlock, I'll post there too. And thank you for friending me! :-)
Re: Nightwatch
Date: 30 October 2012 15:55 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 30 October 2012 17:04 (UTC)I hope he will.
Yes, we hope so too. And then he will rip open that dressing gown and they will have hot hot sex on the rumpled sheets. Um... What?
This is lovely! As are you! *hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 30 October 2012 17:21 (UTC)Yes, we hope so too.
Of course he will! And you should know he will. ;-) As for the hot hot sex on the rumpled sheets, well, I let you write the porn sequel but, er, yes, that's the idea. One day. :D
Thank you!
*hugs you back*
(no subject)
Date: 31 October 2012 01:37 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 31 October 2012 01:53 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 31 October 2012 02:35 (UTC)And I am sure that you might come up with more words if you should choose to... With friends like yours egging you on...
;-)
(no subject)
Date: 31 October 2012 06:54 (UTC)http://blackmorgan.tumblr.com/
(no subject)
Date: 31 October 2012 13:35 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 4 November 2012 18:13 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 4 November 2012 18:38 (UTC)Yes, I love John too. Oh, you mean... Sorry. :D
I loved how it wasn't obvious at the beginning
I'd love to say, "Yes, am I not super-clever?", but I can't! It's only at the very last moment that I had the idea of revealing only at the end of the fic that John doesn't know Sherlock is here, then I realised that all I had wrote could make the reader think that he was in John's bed (er, I mean that Sherlock was in John's bed, not the reader, unfortunately!), and his lover already.
Anyway, thank you very much for your very kind words. I'll post another story tomorrow, I hope you'll like it too!
(no subject)
Date: 4 November 2012 19:05 (UTC)I sort of liked the image of Sherlock sneaking into John's room post-fall, and John Not Having Nightmares when Sherlock is near. Because John can smell him, or just his soul recognizes Sherlock's presence. And Sherlock being proud of that, knowing that, and taking the risk to come so his John can have some peace.
Be proud of yourself. You did a brave thing. And your words are lovely, lovely, lovely.
Poor lonely, frightened Sherlock. It's sad no matter when you place it. To feel so unworthy of love that he must hide, sneak around, steal little crumbs of togetherness...
(no subject)
Date: 4 November 2012 20:12 (UTC)I love that! And you say you can't write at all? Well, I'm not the only one whose words are lovely, lovely, lovely. :-)
Yes, it's very sad for Sherlock, before or after Reichenbach, but he will be happy in the end, because of course John loves him as much as he loves John, and one day, very soon... *is lost in her own head-canon*
Aaaanyway, thank you very much for this very lovely comment and for your encouragement. I'll post another fic tomorrow, I hope you'll like it too!
(no subject)
Date: 4 November 2012 20:56 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 5 November 2012 00:09 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 5 November 2012 13:37 (UTC)I'll definitely go into my cave of denial and keep the suggested "I go back to my room" part.
Really well done!
(no subject)
Date: 5 November 2012 14:47 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 9 November 2012 11:07 (UTC)Fortunately for us you are many things. In comments you are a bright ray of giggle-inducing sunshine. You never disappoint.
And as a fic writer you're not angsty so much as heart-felt. You so smoothly get right to the beating heart of the story and though it's sad, in this one, there's hope.
I read this just now, again. Yes, there's hope. There's definitely hope.
(no subject)
Date: 9 November 2012 14:29 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 3 March 2013 01:48 (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 3 March 2013 17:03 (UTC)